I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
