Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
