I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
