Porn is love you can see.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
