awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize