So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
