Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
