There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
