ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
