you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
