Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
