We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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