I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize