I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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