You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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