is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
