If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
