someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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