D3 body, D1 cock
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Only a mothe r could love this liver
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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