I love black thongs
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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