Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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