Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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