I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
