If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
