Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
