She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
