That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize