He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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