Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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