DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
its liver damage thursday
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
