I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
