Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
