:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
