Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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