i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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