It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
