My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
