Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
