i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We need to get me chipped asap
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
