It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
