Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
