no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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