its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
