hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
