At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i out mim tonsoeep
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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