No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
