I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
