I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
