I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
