you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They took my balls.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
