operation harelip BJ is a go
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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