pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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