paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
