the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
