you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
tell me about the eggs
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
