come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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