love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
