so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
