then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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