Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
