I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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