The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
