I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She just used a chaser for red wine.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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