C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
