porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
