somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
