They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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