Fuck appropriateness.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I fill condoms, not promises.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
