david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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