My first STD was from a foam party
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
