You work out of a Hotel?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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