He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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