ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I believe in your delicious
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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