Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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