Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
