I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
