spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
