So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Your cock deserves a montage
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
