K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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